Monday, February 15, 2010
The last couple of days have been triggers for some very old stuff to come up. Just when we think we are past it, old stories come back up and it can be so discouraging to feel ourselves going backwards. Disappointment at ourselves for having the issue resurface, annoyance that we have to face it again, the pain of the issue itself and then of course- scornful self judgment that we are not bigger than all of this ( haven't I evolved at all??) So after 2 days of being in blue funk mode I realized that I had not gotten into any arguments because of my trigger, that I had performed all the intended tasks for that time period, that I had allowed myself the time to be silent so I could think about how to best express myself without shaming or blaming anyone else, that although I felt sad I was not running away from my feelings and that I recognized and stopped myself from spiraling into 'story' mode. Then I realized that in addition to being in the moment with my feelings, I was also watching myself live them and making choices about which way to go with things. This, I believe is an influence from working with the singing bowls over time. Perspective. I can see that I have grown and that even when old issues resurface, I respond differently and work through them much faster. Getting back into alignment as I go through my paces. Could it be the cellular memory of the Tibetan bowl vibrations that have strengthened my ablility to face challenges? I believe this to be true.